Phnom Penh, Dec 2010
In Ron’s Studio
Caught between two worlds
Walking slowly into the new one.
Panic as I see the old one slowly disappearing.
Friends voices heard less and less
As they absorb into their own lives
Their colours melting into a blur.
Turning round, looking forward
Seeing a moonscape.
People in groups and couples milling about
Some near, some at a distance.
Some catch my eye and beckon me over
Some just wave and smile
Some don’t notice at all.
Children run in between
And people speak a wall of words
That leave me baffled and confused.
But I go on
And wait. And walk.
Sometimes lie down and sleep.
Sometimes join in.
Later in my flat
I’ve been running with a head like an owl.
I’ve been running with a head like an owl.
I see what’s before me
Then I look around
And wander this way and that.
I want to run back to the safe places
And be among known faces
But the distance I have covered is too much.
I could go back but what for?
To try and join in with lives that have let me go
And no longer see me in them.
So I rein in my head, hold it steady,
And choose to run forward into a space
Where there is no crowd
Where there are no cheers
Just me and the ground
And space all around
And a smile from heaven
That’s slowly getting closer.